Comments on: Are You Tuning in to Positive Feedback?

By: Joanna

Joanna — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:03:24 +0000

Meryl, thanks for sharing that. I’ve followed some of that research too, and applied some it, though probably not consistently enough to make the difference. It’ll be interesting to see if technology helps us to affirm and apply some of these simple ways to live a happier life.

By: Meryl K. Evans

Meryl K. Evans — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 19:43:53 +0000

Joanna, here’s that article I referred to regarding “happiness.” Thanks for asking about it.
http://www.brighthub.com/mobile/iphone/reviews/29821.aspx

Meryl K. Evanss last blog post..What the Writing Community Teaches

By: Joanna

Joanna — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 23:38:38 +0000

Gennaro you’re right, we need the constructive criticism – not least because otherwise we won’t believe the praise. When I’m offering feedback I try and place the areas for improvement within a ‘sandwich’ of things that I thought were good, and that had a particular impact on me. It’s hard to ‘hear’ criticism if we’re feeling hurt or defensive – I think it’s more likely to go in if we know it’s coming from a constructive and positive place.

Meryl it’s interesting – I don’t know if how people are as adults all stems from how they were treated as kids, or if it’s in their character – some people wouldn’t notice criticism if it hit them with an elephant dart loaded with poison… others are equally deaf to all the praise you could ever lavish upon them. I also think think women are particularly well practiced at disregarding praise… do you think?

By: Meryl K. Evans

Meryl K. Evans — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:14:40 +0000

Gennaro, you're right. That's why it's important for parents to give their kids at least 10 compliments for every one negative as it's easy for the negatives to overshadow the compliments. We adults forget to do that and should for all parts of life, not just in parenting. Meryl K. Evanss last blog post..Links: 2009-03-20 Writer Mama Winner Edition

By: Gennaro

Gennaro — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:10:46 +0000

For some reason, we tend to remember the criticism before the compliments. It's important to listened to both. Criticism can be helpful if it's constructive. So can positive comments. Like anyone I prefer the latter, but have improved various things from the former. I'd also say that some criticism is better for a private e-mail to the blog writer than for the comments section. Gennaros last blog post..Angkor Wat Through The Lens

By: Joanna

Joanna — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:01:58 +0000

Jan I like that thought… call and response. Makes me think of birds calling in the wild…Resonance is very important to me, in my own writing, and my response to what other people write. I try and trust my own sense of connection – resonance – and most of the comments I leave come from that place. In words I can’t find I know you are teaching me something just now… and I love being somewhere on a bit of that grand page with you

Paul hello, and welcome here. You’ll see now how your comment earlier made me smile. I’m glad you found point 4 useful… will bear that in mind.

Meryl you’re so right. Our self talk, the things we write about ourselves, take note of, feel good about, and yes feel pride in can help us to keep going, and keep producing our best stuff. I’m looking forward to your article. I picked up a suggestion yesterday about writing down your achievements as well as endless to do lists. It’s so easy to disregard what we have done in the constant chase after more, bigger, better

By: Joanna

Joanna — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:55:56 +0000

Chris I’m glad to hear you’re taking notice. Thanks again for helping me find my way into this conversation.

Joely I recognise so many aspects of that culture too – you fit in by talking down stuff you want to be good at or proud of. It’s been amazing for me to watch you emerging from out of the confines of that chrysallis… I agree with what you say about accepting compliments. Even if we don’t value that person’s opinion in terms of critical feedback, accepting it will make you and them smile, and can only add to positive energy in the universe…

Barbara I can imagine it must have been a huge turning point. I love the way you are now encouraging and inspiring others through your endeavours to do likewise

By: Meryl K. Evans

Meryl K. Evans — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:18:09 +0000

Echo echo echo lots of the above. Good stuff. Feel good, Joanna!

Here’s a different spin — enjoy those little moments when you take pride in your writing — whether it’s an article you can’t believe you wrote or a compliment. Even seeing comments on your blog entry is positive because you compelled readers to talk about it (unless they’re saying mean things about the post).

We need more positive stuff in our lives. Funny, I am writing an article about an application that encourages you to recording three good things every day.

Meryl K. Evanss last blog post..Guest Post: Writing is Rewriting

By: Paul

Paul — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:11:43 +0000

Hi Joanna,

I know that the 4th point you make around testing for disconnect/dissonance will be enormously valuable to the way I write/work. My thanks to you for that in particular!

The testimony in comments offered helpful insight into handling praise & positive feedback more comfortably as well.

Chalk another one up to the community you could say

Best Regards

Paul

Pauls last blog post..What career story do you want to read right now?

By: Janice Cartier

Janice Cartier — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:22:17 +0000

It's a call isn't it, and a response...which makes it all the more important to have community, especially one that is up for making the experience a resonate one. So it would be quite foolish to only listen to our part of the playing. Joanna, you are one of the most resonate wanting people I know online. This is just a fabulous call to take all of us forward.. so once again, we share a bit of that similar page. And it is a lovely one at that. Janice Cartiers last blog post..Alluvian Landscape