Putting Confidence in Your Writing: Guest Post by Alex Fayle
Think about your writing a moment then finish the following sentence:
“I’m frickin’ awesome at _______________!”
Say it out loud. Really. Right now. This blog post isn’t going anywhere.
Ready? Go!
Did you do it? Woo hoo! Did you feel embarrassed saying it? Or did it fill you with excitement and a sense of power?
And if you didn’t do it? That’s okay. No one’s around. You can admit to skipping the exercise. No one (except yourself) will judge for it.
The other day I was watching the castings for Operación Triunfo (the Spanish version of Pop Idol). Most people got up on stage and let their nerves rule them and then they left crying, even if they later got into the next level of casting. Then a 16-year-old girl came on stage with only a few signs of nervousness and an amazing voice. As she walked back to the waiting area she said
“That was awesome. I felt alive. I want to do it again!”
That’s how you need to feel about your writing, or at least the part of it that you know you rock at. Because if you don’t believe that you’re a good writer, no one else will.
All writers are sales people, and yet fiction writers think they can’t sell anything. We need to sell people into reading our writing and then the writing itself needs to sell people into reading right through to the end.
That requires confidence, both in ourselves and within the words we put on paper. We need to proclaim our strengths and to feel secure doing so.
We can’t say “I’m kind of not bad at ______…”
We have to say “I’m frickin’ awesome at _____!” — with the exclamation point!
Here’s mine:
“I’m frickin’ awesome at discovering patterns especially in human behaviour!”
I say it with confidence and since I use it as the basis for my coaching business, I’ve learned to say it to anyone within earshot.
What if you don’t know? What if you have no idea what your writing strengths are? Then start paying attention to your writing. What parts of it do you read later and say “Wow, that rocked!”? For me, I love to reread the parts that explore patterns, especially patterns of behaviour.
So that’s how I write. When I approach something that I find a challenge, like pure physical description, I go back to my strength and I find a pattern in the description, a way to naturally tie the physical world into the behaviours of my characters. And then suddenly I find that I’ve not only written two full pages of description, I’ve written two awesome pages of description.
Many of us were taught that declaring our strengths is boasting and therefore rude, so we hide behind modesty. Writers, however, can’t afford false modesty. There are millions of people and things vying for the attention of the people we’re trying to draw into our writing. If we don’t think it’s frickin’ awesome, they won’t either.
Most days it feels like the odds of achieving any level of writing success equal those of winning a huge lottery jackpot — next to nil.
So, if you don’t proclaim your skills, who will?
******
Alex Fayle, of Someday Syndrome, is a writer who has learned that his writing rocks and is working at letting enough people know until the right person offers to publish his books.
He also uses his amazing skill of uncovering hidden patterns to help people break the procrastination obstacle so they can finally find freedom and start living the life they desire.
Alex’s previous guest post here was on Allowing Ourselves to Be Successful.
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What a fabulously inspiring post, Alex! I was already excited about what the day was going to bring, but now I’m practically bouncing in my chair
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head about the need to declare our strengths – it’s always been something I’ve struggled with, but I’m beginning to turn that corner. I’m working towards that point of declaring my strengths without feeling the need to disguise them with my typical Scots self-deprecation. Not easy or comfortable, but then I think that’s the point, isn’t it?
Thanks for the great post
Amy
xx
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Hi Alex, Definitely an inspiring post. I’m with Amy – have always had trouble touting my abilities, and it’s taken me a long time to learn it is more a negative than a positive. Thank you for the encouragement.
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Hi Alex! Well I read the exercise and I am embarrassed to admit I could not fill in that blank. It could be lack of coffee or it may signal a need to pay attention and take note. I love your idea of not only proclaiming your strength but leveraging it in every aspect of your writing. This post definitely has me thinking and searching high and low for a strength!
Karen Swims last blog post..Vision or Lie?
Hi Alex. I filled in the blank immediately. But as quickly as I did that there was a “but I ‘should’ do this a bit better though, so maybe not…” So, I have a frigging awesome critic then
Davinas last blog post..Positively Breathing — Affirmation 1
Amy: It’s such an Anglo-Saxon thing to play down one’s abilities, no? Fortunately after years of hanging around with Southern Europeans and being constantly bombarded by American culture, I’ve learned to toot my own horn.
Brad: It’s such a fine line between projecting confidence and boasting. I’ve always erred on the not-speaking-up-enough side but I’m learning to get borderline obnoxious about it (well, at least obnoxious in my Anglo-Saxon way…)
Karen: How about this? You are frickin’ awesome at embodying a single feeling through descriptive poetic prose. Now that isn’t probably exactly what you would say but it does give you something to play with. (Outside help at figuring out your strengths is allowed).
Davina: Ah yes, the inner critic (or as Natalie Goldberg calls it the Monkey Mind). My inner critic used to be really good at keeping me from writing. I’ve learned to give him space and he now leaves my writing time alone. http://www.amazon.com/Wild-Mind-Living-Writers-Life/dp/0553347756
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..The World Owes Me Nothing: Glen Allsopp Interview
Big sigh. Oh this just encapsulates it all for me right now, struggling to put together the sales package for my novel; a sleek, attractive synopsis, a sparkling query letter that just makes the reader ache to read more – both seem out of reach. It’s all tooting my book’s horn, and of course, my horn, and it’s so hard to do so! Gah! Why is it so hard?
Alex, you really are fricking awesome!
Karen Swims last blog post..Vision or Lie?
Emma: I find getting help from others is the best way to get that objectivity I need. Personally I belong to the online forum Forward Motion Writers (http://www.fmwriters.com) and the people there are great for helping me determine my stories’ strengths.
Karen: Thanks – you too!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..The World Owes Me Nothing: Glen Allsopp Interview
Fantastic post, Alex, thank you … and great comments! I too struggled to fill in the blank until my eldest daughter said: “Mum, you’re awesome at making bad things better!” My youngest daughter added: “And you’re brilliant at being a Mum!” With support like this, I am destined to go a very long way!
I too think our reticence has a lot to do with our culture … somehow we are brought up to believe that thinking good of ourselves, recognising our own talents and strengths is a sign of arrogance. Spending time in Southern Europe sounds like a good cure … I might try that!
You are all truly awesome and truly inspirational, thank you!
)
Alex,
Motivating and inspiring post. One of my readers for whom English is a second language described my strength in a comment. Converting what he said to your challenge: I’m frickin’ awesome at simple, understandable writing.
Lillie Ammanns last blog post..Making a Way and Other Overused Expressions
OMG, Alex. I’ve the ‘magic spell’ and it makes me feeling so damn good! lol Honestly, I’m frickin’ awesome good at picking other peoples odd habits. I knew I supposed not to do it, but I can’t help myself stop doing it…
Thanks for the recommendation Alex! I will go and check that out. Just being online and meeting so many great people in communities like these is a huge help already.
Emma Newmans last blog post..Persistence really is everything
You write: “There are millions of people and things vying for the attention of the people we’re trying to draw into our writing. If we don’t think it’s frickin’ awesome, they won’t either.”
You are so frickin’ right, Alex. Thanks for the fun, motivational post!
I had to think about it for a moment, then I remembered:
I am a titling GOD!
They seem to come easy for me and I always get a little burst of pride when I’ve come up with a beauty.
Cool stuff, Alex
George
Tumblemooses last blog post..Six tips to avoid being an overworked writer
Sigh … all signs are leading to me just picking up my pen, um, keyboard and starting to write that book. I am frickin’ awesome at getting right inside the head of my characters, such that the readers do too. Hey, that wasn’t so bad!
Excellent post, as always, bro.
Urban Panthers last blog post..Is this a mid-life crisis?
That post was frickin’ awsome.
Deb Ngs last blog post..What Should Your Freelance Writing Client Do?
Dianne: Having a family that acts as a cheering section really helps. My bf doesn’t read in English, but he tells me that he knows I’m the next JK Rowling.
Lillie: That’s a very powerful thing to be able to do. Not many people can write that way well.
Wilson: Being able to pick at habits would make for some great observational humour and would definitely help creating memorable fiction characters as well.
Emma: I think writers have benefited a lot from the growth of the Internet – we can break our isolation without having to break too far out of our writing mode.
Lori: Thanks Lori! Once I was taping something for a morning program in Canada and the producer told me “Alex, the person watching this is going to be clipping their toenails – you have to be interesting enough for them to look up from what they are doing.”
Tumblemoose: That’s a talent I wish I had. I totally suck at creating titles. Well not suck so much as it’s a part of my awesomeness.
UP: YESYESYESYESYESYES – Start writing that book!
Deb: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..7 Things We Already Know About Our Lives
Hi Alex – Wow. I’ve been going through a shit time lately and this is one of the first blog posts I’ve read in a while. And I’m glad I did – it has really cheered me up a heap.
Alex, thanks for this post. It was so bouncing with confidence
I enjoyed dipping into some of the comments and tweets when I was away, and seeing how people responded so strongly to your challenge. I think my answer is… I’m frickin’ awesome at capturing the quiet essence of things
Cath, sorry you’re having a hard time… hope better things are on the horizon
[...] Putting Confidence in Your Writing by Alex Fayle [...]
[...] wrote about this in a guest post about putting confidence in your writing. Many of us were taught that declaring our strengths is boasting and therefore rude, so we hide [...]
[...] Alex’s previous guest posts here have been on Allowing Ourselves to Be Successful and Putting Confidence In Your Writing [...]