Standing Tall in Your Community: Guest Post by Robert Hruzek

May 10, 2009 · by Joanna Paterson · in

stand-tallHow do communities form, anyway? Well, there’s a fundamental principle at work, and it’s one we rarely think about, if you ask me. (Uh, didn’t somebody just ask me? Anyone?)

Where I get gas every now and then (no, silly – for my car, not for me!) there’s this lone tree standing over there, all by itself. Man, I’m talkin’ tall – that thing towers up into the heavens like the Jolly Green Giant!

The funny thing, though, is that it’s not really any taller than most of the other pine trees that grow like weeds around this part of Texas.

No, what makes it seem so tall is, well, it’s standing there all by its lonesome (an East Texas expression that means all by itself).

And therein lies an interesting observation…

Not the Only One

One of the great things about being online these days is the chance to be a part of something bigger than yourself; to extend beyond the old boundaries we knew before. You know the ones I mean: geography, politics or your favorite kind of pie… All the things that define us.

Now, that may not seem like such a big deal to some of you, but believe me, it’s an amazing development for little ol’ me, I’ll tell ya! After all, bein’ something of an introvert and all, well, reachin’ out and touchin’ someone (if you get my meanin’) just doesn’t come, y’know, natural to me.

But what really surprised me, though, is how many times I’ve read this blogger or that one makin’ the exact same claim – especially the ones with, y’know, what seemed like bazillions of folks in their respective communities. I mean, who knew? They all seemed pretty outgoing to me.

On the other hand, an interesting thing happens when you get online, doesn’t it? Ordinary barriers seem to fall away and you find yourself communicating mano-a-mano with folks from all over the place at the drop of a hat (sound of dull clunk). Oh, it doesn’t necessarily come natural at first, but once the words start flowing across the screen, it becomes pretty easy to become fully engaged. At least it was for me.

I mean sure, these days I can communicate pretty easily with folks from Romania, Germany or Scotland, to name a few. And it’s likely that Alina, Ulla or Joanna will agree that yours truly is certainly a friendly, outgoing character (heavy on the character). But that’s ‘cause they see the end product of, well, years of practice.

So how does one transform oneself from a lowly, sniveling, pathetic jello-like wallflower (which, at one time, described me to a tee) to someone who can easily trade truths, tips or tamales with the best of ‘em? Hey, not to worry, my friends; Dr. Bob is here to help!

So, if you’re a natural introvert (as opposed to what – one that came out of a bottle?), there’s a great technique I learned a while back for breaking out of that shell, so to speak. If you’ll just allow me illustrate it with a little story (after all, it’s what I do here)…

A Big Change

Many moons ago, when I left college life to move back to Houston and the, y’know, real world (the one where you have to actually earn a living), I decided to move my church membership from a very small one to a really, really big one. It was gonne be quite an adjustment, I’ll tell ya. But I knew it was necessary.

See, in my current church, I was one of only three young singles. And, as much as we enjoyed each other’s company, well, I felt it was time to sorta “get out there” more – you know, spread my wings a little. Now remember, I was still pretty introverted back then, so this was a big step for me.

On the other hand, the church I was moving to had something on the order of a thousand singles about my own age. (Like I said, it was a BIG church!) I’m tellin’ ya; that was a big change!

But as I said, it was something I had to do ‘cause it was time to break out of my introverted shell and grow. And hey, what better way to face the risk (sound of terrified scream) of bein’ around so many more people than I was used to? It was bound to get me out of my comfort zone in a really big way.

So, just before visiting that church the first time, I looked in the mirror and said to myself, “Bubba, you’re gonna stand tall, stick out yer hand, and meet ‘em!” And that’s exactly what I did!

The results were nothing less than amazing!

I’ll tell ya; I met plenty of interesting folks that first day – although I must admit I didn’t remember a single name (I have a terrible memory for names *sigh*). But it set the tone for my continued attendance at that church for years to come. (PLUS – that’s where I met the future Mrs. MZM!) And, once the initial hesitation wore off, it became far easier to chip away at the ol’ introvertism (or whatever you want to call it) and head in the opposite direction.

But by far my most interesting observation was, when I failed to stand up straight when I stuck my hand out (which happened on occasion), somehow it made a huge difference. It was as if the energy simply wasn’t there – unless I straightened out the ol’ spine a bit. Amazing!

Truth be told, I’m still something of an introvert when it comes to a room of folks I don’t know all that well. I’m honestly getting’ better at it, but all I can say is, gimme a chance – I’m still growin’, y’know? And once I began to explore the online world, that practice really helped set the tone for meetin’ new folks there as well.

Anyway, in my opinion the real secret to becoming an outgoing, friendly communicator is actually pretty simple: Stand tall!

Time to Come Out of The Shell

ninja_turtlesSo are you an introvert? Believe me, I understand perfectly. Especially when you’re new at it, it’s pretty easy to be a little intimidated by the ones who seem to be “out there” already. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel; I felt the same way.

But remember, online communication eliminates a whole distracting dimension from the game, y’know? I mean, think about it for a minute (sound of grinding gears). You don’t have to worry about your hair or if your makeup is on straight, or that you might have just eaten a spinach soufflé for lunch and you have a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth right there. The only thing that matters are the words you say.

Hey, why not try it?

All ya gotta do is (virtually, of course!) stand up straight, mosey right up to someone and say “Howdy!” You’d be surprised how easy it gets, especially after you’ve done it a few times. After all, that’s how every online community got its start!

Why not be a part of it?

Photo: Stand Tall, by Robert Hruzek

Oh, and the Teen-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles dropped by for a quick portrait, too.

Robert HruzekRobert Hruzek currently lives in Houston, Texas, and is usually employed as an engineering project manager. He has travelled, lived and worked in many locations within the United States and around the world.

Robert writes on the Web at Middle Zone Musings. It’s described as a comfortable place to have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. He doesn’t ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Why not drop by, take a load off, and relax for a spell…

You may contact Robert by email at: rhruzek [at] sbcglobal [dot] net.

Previous guest posts from Robert at Confident Writing include:

Dead Ends (Part 3) (now who could resist a title like that?), 3 Keys to Powerful Writing and the unmissable  Two Simple Steps to Writing with Authenticity

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